Interview with Mr. President Donald Trump on the release of Amiga 1222 by Krzysztof Krzysztof.
Dr. Krzysztof: Mr. President, I am thankful for our meeting on your way to Greenland to discuss the release of Amiga 1222 for the market. Trump Oil Corporation is partly involved in securing new colony near the North Pole, for now, so I am surprised with your attention to the New Gen Amiga computer.
Donald Trump, 45th President of the United States of Ambition: After I realized that I am the god, I came here to reveal the truth about A1222.
K.K: …and the truth is?
D.T.: I am gonna make Amiga great again. When Reagan was in charge, he said to Jack Tramiel, ‘let’s make Amiga great again Jackie’. You know, in the 80ties, advisor of President Reagan, Roger Stone was originally a man who invented that term, then he gave me a hand to use it in 2012.
K.K: That was the moment when you realized that A1222 will be the hit? In 2012? Before the official announcement in 2015?
D.T.: Oh, no! It was much earlier, still, when Commodore was in the run, I was working with Amiga 500 in my office when I was inventing my strategies thanks to the Sim City simulation. I thought then: what about making PowerPC Freescale QorIQ P1022 computer with HDMI, Ethernet and so on. I decided to make it with the use of my super-powers. When I started in Brooklyn my dad lent me a small loan of a million-dollar and that started my business. So, I thought, if I will think a lot and a lot the Amiga 1222 will just come to me like that loan from my daddy.
K.K: what year was that?
D.T.: I think 92 or 93. I don’t remember exactly, although I am sure I was using some advanced Amiga office programs back then.
K.K: WordPerfect or PageStream?
D.T.: No, I used Terror Liner II and Stag.
K.K: could you be more… specific?
D.T.: I was working on Terror Liner II to sketch the Trump Tower. It was a square picture, and then that little dot was touching it before I managed to end the line and my job was done. Those were perfect sketches. My tower went so well. I was always wondering what it would be to make more those squares, but it was very very complicated.
K.K: I know… I mean, I try to imagine you as a genius. But please tell us more about the Amiga 1222. I thought that Trevor Dickinson from A-EON with cooperation from Hyperion was in charge of the project.
D.T.: Yeah, he was. I asked Trevor to help a bit with a work of young physician Lester Knight Chaykin on some Amiga application for his particle accelerator.
K.K: What happened to Trevor and Lester?
D.T.: They disappeared after some storm. Not to make panic over Amiga users I used Chaos Engine I dig under Mar-a-Lago, to create his cybernetic copy and sent it to Gamescom 2019 to show the Beta model of the A1222.
K.K: Why you didn’t send any help for Trevor and Lester? It seems that your actions only postponed the release of A1222 to the market.
D.T: You know Guenther Kraemer aka Bladerunner? He was doing some programming for that particle accelerator. After the storm which took Trevor and Lester he also disappeared. I sent special forces Unit-A to find at least Guenther, but still no trace all of them.
K.K: OK, I understand that Trevor and Lester are in trouble, but most of the community agrees that A1222 was a project ready for release a year ago. There is something missing in that story, Mr. President, don’t you think?
D.T.: When the President does it, that means it’s not illegal.
K.K: Illegal to what?
D.T.: To the community, of course. The Amiga community is the group of CPU users able to reconstruct a free computer-use area. But investors like me do not need more freethinkers here anymore.
K.K: How we should understand that Mr. President?
D.T.: The truth is that I ordered Guenther Kraemer to use copy program which sends byte by byte Trevor and Lester into another realm. I will use Chaos Engine to produce and replicate more people involved in building independent computing to, in fact, serve me. Apollo Team pisses me off too. They think, If they will manage with a standalone ‘emulation’ for OS3.9 I will not notice where it goes. Or AmigaKIT with RabsperryPi solutions, or AROS or MorphOS. Anything that will not serve the concept of microtransactions, hardware gaming rat race, corporation data gathering, and analysis then it will be jeopardized.
K.K: What about the development of human abilities computers meant to increase? Amiga 1222 seems to be the best way towards a constructive solution in that matter. It’s a computer designed for creators like Amiga 500 once was for a reasonable price. What is wrong with that?
D.T.: Oh c’ mon, you really thought that I will allow selling the computer produced not in the glorious United States of Ambition, made and programmed mostly by the red European Union programmers and loved by international – free thinkers community to overpass investments we made into global network control? I am not going to let eat tacos and burrito in schools, you think I will let the Brits and Italians produce motherboards? What is this, a crossover episode about pizza with HP sauce topping?
K.K: Mr. President, I think you lost your shit.
D.T.: It is all because I could not finish plans for Trump Tower in the Terror Liner II. I could not stand if the A1222 would be released and somebody could make better plans for Trump Tower in that editor.
K.K: It was a porn game.
K.K: Terror Liner II was a porn game. You are so ambitious and incompetent same time, that you could not finish even a first level in that game to see p0rn. So you imagined, that you are a programmer of some sort and jeopardized the A1222 project by sending Trevor and Lester to another world. Then, you used Chaos Engine to replace Trevor with a cyborg that no one will notice the difference at Gamescom 2019.
D.T.: It… it cannot be. All my live… I thought that I did something important in that program.
K.K: Not only that, you blocked selling microprocessors from China on the market because google stop to pay off your golf bills and put instead some on Hillary’s cigars company. The ban with China hits projects like A1222 in the first glance. Your incompetence cost postponing one of the most important projects for PCU users since 1985. Just because you could not hold on playing Terror Liner II and always finishing before the picture was revealed.
D.T.: Fuck you, commie!
K.K: It was an interview with Mr. President of the United States of Ambition. I don’t think I will get Green Card after that one. Good luck to everyone with finding Trevor Dickinson.
This post is entirely fiction. It has nothing to do with how the world is today. It was sent to us and we have published it as its made by an Amiga fan. You can also check out his article where he also interviews Karl Marx about the future of Amiga. What would happen in such time and space?